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The man who, as someone very amusingly said on Twitter once, claps when the plane lands (I’ll not take credit for that but well done to the person who came up with that).
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Ah, let’s stay on our friends up the road. So where else to turn our attention? Qucik: find a story. But it turns out that on Saturday it really was for good this time. Now then, we had hoped to bring you news of Mino Raiola’s incredible resurrection. Jake Humphrey defends murderous regime and it ends badly Personally, I think he’s probably a very nice fella who is now regretting his actions.
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For the Norwich game, as a bit of a treat, I had hired a private plane to take me and some mates there.”įuckinell Dave, my idea of a bit of a treat is to buy a packet of Munchies for my Megabus journey, not hire a sodding plane down to Norwich for a meaningless away game.Īnyway, as I say, Dave’s getting all sorts of stick from all sorts of people. Better explain that one Dave - good news though! he can: ”my business is doing alright and on the Friday a customer paid a £450 bill in cash with £50 notes, which I put in my wallet. It does beg the question why would you cut about with a whole load of £50s in your back pocket? It’s a bit like why would you have a burner phone, aka “the affair line”? - or something else. Well bugger me, consider the record to be well and truly have been put straight. Oh, that’s right, Dave felt compelled to contact the local paper to give his version of events. I’m willing to bet you’ve put that far more politely to the Chronicle than you did in reality, Dave. I wanted to show them we’re doing alright, thank you.” He explained, ”I was responding to chants from the Norwich fans who were singing ‘we pay all your benefits, we pay all your benefits’. you’re owned by a bunch of murdering bastards? There’s a cost of living crisis on Dave, haven’t you heard? And. Apparently, it’s not the done thing to wave £50 notes around with gay abandon, so folk didn’t like it. Not so according to the big man, who was a bit miffed by getting pelters from all angles on social media. Now even the densest of people would be able to make the connection there - it was a reference by Dave to their newfound wealth. You see silly old Dave was pictured waving what appeared to be £50 notes at the Norwich fans it was, without doubt, the worst display of loadsamoney since Charlie Methven paid for his fish and chips down Minchella’s with a Rolex. It’s got me wondering, what is the collective term for a group of Newcastle supporters? A parliament of owls, a murder of crows, a twat of Toon fans? A twat of Toon fans in the wild Photo by Mark Leech/Offside/Offside via Getty Images Not drawing attention to yourself in sunny east Anglia.Īs we all know, it’s a club that is famous for being a cabal of loud boorish oafs who you’d cross the street to avoid as they’re on their way - tanked up on Newcy Broon, or sphincter kryptonite - to the match. Really should have just kept on going to them games at Craik Park in Morpeth, mate. So who’s bollocked it up this week then? ’ll tell you who - it’s Northumberland’s finest Dave Dixon. Newcastle United support - the collective gift that just give give gives, while we take take take the piss - and we’re the ones in f*cking League One! I’m laughing before I’ve even started writing this. When using a search engine such as Google, Bing or Yahoo check the safe search settings where you can exclude adult content sites from your search results Īsk your internet service provider if they offer additional filters īe responsible, know what your children are doing online.Newcastle fan does stupid thing. Use family filters of your operating systems and/or browsers Other steps you can take to protect your children are: More information about the RTA Label and compatible services can be found here. Parental tools that are compatible with the RTA label will block access to this site. We use the "Restricted To Adults" (RTA) website label to better enable parental filtering. Protect your children from adult content and block access to this site by using parental controls.
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